Thinking Spring

Well, it's that time of year again. Spring time. Everything is turning green and colorful. It is always a refreshing sight to see the buds on the trees after a colorless winter. I never realize just how much I love green trees and flowers until I haven't had them in a while and they begin to reappear. It kind of reminds me of that saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." While usually said in regards to people, it makes sense in this situation as well. The absence of color in life makes me that much fonder of it when it comes out of hiding once again.
That being said, I feel like with the springtime I am entering into a new phase of my life. I feel like I am finishing up an old chapter and starting a new one. Maybe it's because Leilani is a lot more interactive and it's easier to take her out and about. Maybe it's because we have made a change in churches and I am getting to know a new group of friends. Maybe it's because I am realizing that I don't have to live my whole life trying to be a people pleaser. Maybe it's because I'm finally seeing that it is ok to weed out toxic people and relationships in my life.
I am beginning to see that no matter what I do, there will always be people who disagree with me or dislike me for my convictions and standards. There will always be people looking to find fault with me and my family for one reason or another. I used to think that it was my sole purpose to make sure nobody had anything against me for any reason and to make sure that I was keeping everyone else happy, all the while living in a state of misery and depression myself. I have reached a point now, by God's grace, where I just don't care what everyone thinks. There are people who are close to me that I want to please and make happy, but there are others who are just toxic and find fault to no end with everyone. I cannot make these people happy no matter how hard I try and I'm realizing that it isn't my job to try. Pray for them I will, but I will not be manipulated by their schemes or made to feel inadequate or guilty for not giving in to their every whim and demand.  It's time to weed out the manipulators in my life.
What a freeing release I now feel. I am like a new leaf budding on a tree. Ready to start this new season with beauty and hope and joy.
Thank you Jesus for revealing your wisdom to me and for providing direction to my family. Thank you for new life, for fresh life and for fresh starts.