Did I Say That?

"He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction." -Proverbs 13:3

I came across this verse in my daily reading this morning and almost immediately I knew it was something I needed to blog about, not for anyone's good except my own (although I do hope it blesses YOU too!). I have experienced this verse in many different ways. I have been on the receiving end of someone who just couldn't keep their mouth shut and spread gossip and rumors about me or my family, some true and some just complete lies. I have had secrets confided to close friends blurted out to precisely who I didn't want to hear (their fault or mine?), and I know that I have also at times been the one doing the talking to others regarding things I have no right to share.

I know that talking is one of those things that women do best and gossip makes for good talk! I also know that VENTING is another thing us women do well! We think that if we are talking to a friend (or two or three or four...) under the context of venting, then by all means, talk and bash and ridicule and judge away! Think about it though, who in their right mind says "Hey, I really need to just talk to you and gossip about somebody right now. Let me tell you how awful they are." BUT something worded more like this, well... "Hey, I really need to vent to you right now about something going on with so and so. I don't want to be judgemental, but I just really need to get something off my chest..." And then they get "it" off their chest with another 5 or 6 people. Gossip under the context of venting.

Can I just say first off that I AM GUILTY!!! Like I said, this blog is directed to myself more than to anyone else. When I am extremely frustrated with someone or a situation I feel the need to talk about it and talk about it and then maybe talk about it a little more, and to anyone that is willing to listen. So, before I say more, let me just clarify something. I do believe that it is GOOD to share or vent with someone who is a close friend if it is to receive Godly counsel and prayer, not to bash or gain "haters" for your cause. I do think it is so important though to think about what you are saying before you speak. This is a lesson that God is currently teaching me and has been working in me for quite a while now! I think it's rather ironic that the first thing I want to do when I hear about someone spreading falsehoods about me or my family is in turn go and start talking about how awful that person is for doing so. Doesn't that make me just as guilty? The cycle just goes on and on!

One of my absolute favorite passages that I always come back to is Philippians 4:8 which says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

They say that what you put in is what comes out. When I am filling my mind with matters that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of a good report, then that is what I will be pouring out to others. This is also the type of person that other people usually prefer to be around, rather than someone who is always complaining and bringing the group down with a poor attitude.

I love the example that David sets in Psalm 39:1-8. "I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me. I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred. My heart was hot within me, while I was musing the fire burned: then spake I with my tongue, Lord make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am. Behold, thou has made my days as an hand breadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah. Surely every man walketh in a vain shew: surly they are disquieted in vain: he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them. And now Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee. Deliver me from all my transgressions: make me not the reproach of the foolish. "

As I read this, I get to the part where David is saying that his heart is hot within him, and that as he thinks on what's going on, there is a fire burning within him (he's obviously angry) and then fire and brimstone!... wait... no... LORD MAKE ME TO KNOW MINE END... He starts praying to the Lord that God would show him just how small he (David) is compared to how BIG He (God) is. He expresses to God that he finds his hope in HIM alone. He asks to be delivered from his own transgressions and just asks that God allow him to be blameless among the foolish. (fool - a person who lacks judgement or sense; a weak minded or idiodic person) Doesn't the fool sound EXACTLY like the person you would automatically start talking about? Don't stoop to that level!

"Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from trouble." -Proverbs 21:23

"Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed if mankind: but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similtude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh." -James 3:5-12

I guess that my biggest encouragement through this blog would be to really think twice about what you say, to who you say it and the motive behind saying it. Our words are an example and they can be used for good, to direct others to God and to show love, or they can be used for evil, to destroy another person in an attempt to make us feel better about ourselves. When we choose the latter we are also completely misrepresenting Christ. We as Christians should not be able to bless God and curse another so freely. This just cannot be.

Lord, please help me in this area! It is so hard at times when I feel so frustrated or hurt by another person to not fall into the same things I hate in them. When I have thoughts of anger or hate or bitterness, please replace them with thoughts of love, truth, and purity. When I do have something negative to say about another, help me direct it to you and pray for that person, rather than treat them as they have treated me. I know that I have a lot of growing to do in this area, but please continue to convict me when I slip up. Keep me from judging others and allow me to love with a love that could only come from you.