But the Fruit of the Spirit Is... Gentleness and Goodness

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance..." Galatians 5:22-23

Gentleness- a mild or kind nature or character; not severe, rough or violent; moral goodness, integrity, kindness 

Let's be honest... We all knew I was going to be looking up the definitions, right? I decided to start with the definition of gentleness and move on from there. I truly believe that gentleness is one of those character traits that you simply cannot achieve apart from Jesus. 

The Greek word for gentleness used in this verse is the same Greek word used in the New Testament many times to mean good or goodness as well as kindness. If you have any scripture knowledge, then you are probably familiar with what Romans 3:10-12 says and that is this, "As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one." These verses are speaking of man apart from God. In and of ourselves dwells no good thing! But, and praise God there is a but here, the chapter goes on to say in verses 23-26, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; being justified freely by HIS grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation (an appeasement) through faith in His blood, to declare His righteousness for the remission (forgiveness) of sins that are past, through the forbearance (patient endurance) of God; To declare, I say, at this time His righteousness: that He might be just, and the justifier of Him which believeth in Jesus." Only in and through Jesus blood and forgiveness of our sins are we made good.

In Colossians 3:12 we read that this gentleness, or kindness, is something that we put on. "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing (endure/tolerate) one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." In telling us to put on kindness it implies that it is not something that comes naturally. To put on literally means to sink into (clothing), to clothe oneself. 

What does gentleness look like in our day to day life? I'm glad you asked! The ultimate example of this gentle kindness is what has been first shown to us. Ephesians 2:7-9, "That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." The greatest kindness that we have been shown is God's grace, in that He forgives our sins not based on any of our own merit and offers us eternal salvation. 

One of the greatest ways that we can show gentleness to those around us is by being gracious and forgiving. To be gracious to someone means that we are pleasantly kind, benevolent and courteous. In Proverbs 11:16 we are told that "A gracious woman retains honor..." and "The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious..." Ecclesiastes 10:12.

To forgive someone means not just to grant pardon to a person, but also to cease to feel resentment against them. Believe me, I know how hard it can be to forgive someone, especially someone who isn't sorry and who seems to be unforgivable. But also believe this: It is NECESSARY and VITAL that we do it anyways! Many times it comes down to forgiving simply for the well being of our own hearts. Many times the object of our forgiveness doesn't even realize the extent of our resentment towards them. Unforgiveness is a poison that only eats away at and destroys our own hearts. The Bible shows us time and time again how big of a part forgiveness plays in the Christian walk. 

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15

"And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses." Mark 11:25-26

"Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him: and if he repent, thou shalt forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him." Luke 17:3-4

The thing that really stands out to me in the above three verses is that they give you three different settings. The first verses are simply a call to forgive. Forgive anytime, anywhere, anything, anyone. This is so that God can forgive us. The second verse is a call to forgive in your quiet time with God. This is forgiving someone without that person even having any knowledge of what is happening. This is forgiveness necessary to purify your heart before God. The third verse is a call to forgive when the person who has wronged you is present and repentant over their actions and specifically asks you to forgive them. Even if they ask many times in a day, our response is to be the same; forgive. Based on these verse we can see that our forgiveness of others is not solely based on their merits but on the fact that as we have been forgiven, so we are to forgive.

So, what is gentleness? Gentleness is kindness. Gentleness is graciousness. Gentleness is forgiveness. Gentleness is tolerance. Gentleness is soft spoken words of encouragement. Gentleness is honesty. Gentleness is peaceful. Gentleness is merciful. Gentleness is meekness. Gentleness is courteous. Gentleness is soothing. Gentleness is self sacrificing. 

Gentleness is Christ in me.

But The Fruit Of The Spirit Is... Longsuffering

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law."

Longsuffering... aka patience. Other words used to define this word longsuffering include endurance, constancy, steadfastness and perseverance. According to the dictionary, to be longsuffering means to endure pain, unhappiness, trouble or provocation without complaint. Because I love looking at definitions so much, I also want to look up the definitions of the other words used to describe longsuffering and see what kind of picture they paint.

Patience- tolerance and even-tempered perseverance; the capacity for calmly enduring pain, trying situations, etc.

Endurance- the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions; stamina; something endured as a hardship or trial

Constancy- the quality of being unchanging or unwavering, as in purpose, love or loyalty; firmness of mind; faithfulness

Steadfastness- fixed in intensity or direction; unwavering or determined in purpose, loyalty, etc. sure, dependable, reliable, constant

Perseverance- steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc. especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement

"Patience is a virtue." How many times have I heard this quote over the years? How often have I simply thought of patience as not getting irritated in rush hour traffic? Or not getting frustrated with the slower pace of an older person hogging the entire aisle at the grocery store? Or a toddlers many repeated questions? Or not giving up too quickly when trying to learn something new? After reading the above definitions I am shocked to see the depth of what it really, truly means to be longsuffering. It's so much more than quietly and calmly handling a 5 minute inconvenience. 

I think what really stood out to me is that longsuffering means to endure hardship and trials, that may continue on and on, despite stress and fatigue, with steady persistance while remaining calm, loving, loyal and faithful, even towards that person or thing causing the trial or pain. Without complaining.

I think that it is safe to say that most of the situations we encounter that require longsuffering are relational in some way. Let's face it, people can be irritating! Everyone rationalizes and processes things differently, so what may be incredibly irritating to you, may just be the way of life for another and vice versa. I truly believe that there are people in our lives that God has placed there simply to teach us how to be longsuffering. That person who just never seems to see eye to eye with you and loves to argue with you on any given subject. The person that you are convinced is only out to make your life miserable. The person who takes and takes and never gives. The person who makes you feel as though you are never good enough.  As I've heard it said in the past, don't pray for patience unless you are ready for God to put you directly in the middle of situations that require patience. It is a learned trait. 

"...we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience (tried character), and experience, hope (expectation of good)..." Romans 5:3-4

The only way that we can increase our patience is by exercising it, persevering in it. That is accomplished in tribulation, or rather oppression, affliction and distress. Doesn't sound like a fun time, does it? But look at the above verse from Romans. The great thing about growing through tribulation is that it results in a tried character, it makes us stronger. We read in Proverbs 22:1 that "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold." Also, Ecclesiastes 7:1 says, "A good name is better than precious ointment..." The name that we are known by is based on our character. Our actions, our response to trying situations, our demeanor speaks volumes as to the person that we truly are. People can talk and talk and say all of the right things, but it comes down to what they DO. Our actions always speak louder than our words. I  want to be known as someone who backs up my words by my actions. Words in and of themself can be so meaningless and can be the cause of bad reputation. Our actions have the power to make a good name for ourselves, or a very poor name. In a funny sort of way though, it's those people who do not follow through on what they say that are the ones teaching us to be longsuffering, right?!

Once we have experience, a tried character, we will have hope, an expectation of good. I believe that as we learn to be longsuffering, we will be able to abide in the hope that the trial we are going through, or the person who is "trying" us, will eventually work out for the best. Even if the best is simply our own personal growth in being longsuffering! That's kind of what this is all about, right? But also, sometimes in practicing patience with another person, you may end up winning them to Christ or if they are already a fellow believer, given time you may allow them to see the error of their behavior and ways and then they will thank you for not giving up on them, no matter how poorly they may have treated you. You begin to have hope that that person is capable of producing good.

As a side note though, I will say that sometimes there are just truly toxic people, who are not the kind of influences or role models that you want involved in your life. It is important to be able to recognize those people, pray for them, love them from a distance, but don't sacrifice the well being of your family or compromise your beliefs in an attempt to help those or reach out to those who have no desire to be helped or who see no reason to change. Make your peace with them, but if they are unreceptive, "shake the dust off of your feet." (Matthew 10:14) A couple of verses that you can read in regards to avoiding the company of "Christians" who cause divisions or walk disorderly are Romans 16:17-18 and 2 Thessalonians 3:6. If you have someone like this in your life, really take the time to pray and see how God would have you approach that relationship.

It is my prayer for anyone reading this post that you would be encouraged to continue on in your trials and struggles and allow the Lord to grow your character through the testing of your patience. I desire to continue to grow in the character of being lonsuffering, and while it's scary to say that, I pray that as the trials come, my actions would define me as calm, loving, loyal, caring and patient. This can only be done through much prayer and reliance on God.

"For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness." 

Colossians 1:9-11